For the past week I have been working with a Lillitu named
Azabul, performing a rite to birth a spiritual child. At night, when everyone
else in the house is asleep, I take a shower and lie in the tub while envisioning
Azabul and summoning her. When she arrives (usually known when I can clearly
see her with my eyes closed) I remind her of her task and then ritually masturbate
while envisioning us having intercourse and give her more of my essence, making
sure not to open my eyes till I give her license to depart. After we have
finished, I again remind her of the task I have given her and then give her
permission to leave.
For the service she is performing for me (bearing, then
eventually birthing, my spiritual child) I have agreed to construct a wooden
disk bearing her sigil so she may inhabit it and become stronger.
Every time she appears my vision tends to darken and light coalesces
into an oval shape, usually of red blue and purple. After giving the final call
the oval forms into the shape of a young Latino woman in her early twenties,
usually with long brown hair and deep brown eyes (on two occasions the eyes
have been blue, and once the hair was short or tied back, I could not tell). She
will usually take my hand and hold it against her belly for a moment before
beginning, and will then lie on me afterwards while whispering the details of
the sigil she wishes me to place on the wooden disk (apparently a red -^- shape
painted in acrylic). Often the feeling of her touch is very faint, building to
an almost tangible sensation around my lips and chest when she kisses or
strokes those areas with her hands.
For anyone interested, the calling I use has this core, with
elaborations as fitting to the mood of the day;
“oh spirit (name) I call thee by the word and name of
Narlathotep, rise, rise that I may see thy form
Oh spirit (name) I call thee by the forsworn covenant between
man and the gods, Rise, that I mat hear thy coming
Spirit (name) I summon thee by the words of power, I command
the to rise that I may feel thy skin, Rise that I may taste the sweet nectar of
thy chalice, Rise that I may smell the sweet musk of thy quivering skin,
I command thee to rise and smell the incense!”
When she appears I remind her of her service to me
…
When finished I remind her of her Service to me
I give her the license to depart:
“Oh spirit (name) by the word and name of Narlathotep I
grant thee permission the leave, Go. Remember well the work you must do, and
forget not the covenant.”
I will than wash myself while thinking or saying “purge me oh
lord and I will be clean, wash me and I will be whiter than snow.”
